(Out of 4)
Directed by Len Wiseman
Starring Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Shane Brolly, Michael Sheen, Bill Nighy
Running Time: 121m
Most Interesting Preview: House of the Dead looks good, Texas Chainsaw still looks like a lot of fun too.
Reviewed by: Jason Kolman
Chaka Says: “Should have been Oganza Bi Sasa, but it isn’t.”
In reviewing “Underworld” I’m reminded of a line from “Orange County.” Kip tells Ashley he is writing a story about Vampires, but it is really a story about the reunification of Germany. “Underworld” seems to be the result after Kip turned his screenplay into the editors. I’m joking of course, but it is silly how “Underworld” deals with how Vampires and Werewolves are conspiring to unite to form a master race....but alas, I’m way ahead of myself.
I’m not inclined to give a whole lot away in terms of summarizing the plot, partly because “Underworld” is a plotters nightmare. There is a story here, and a solid one at that, but it gets lost under tons of sound and dark visuals. I’m reminded of Tim Burton’s vision of Batman, or, more currently, the Matrix. The story centers around Selene (Beckinsale in heavy leather), a Vampire death dealer. Her job, as she informs us in the opening monologue, is to hunt werewolves, or Lycans as they are called, and kill them off one by one. She also manages to inform us that this strategy works. We learn, however briefly it is, that Vampires and Werewolves have been at war with each other for centuries, and that recently, the Lycan leader, Lucian, has been killed and the Lycans have scattered into the wind. Now Selene fears that she is becoming obsolete, and she fears the future. It is at this point that Michael (Speedman) enters her life.
Selene spies Michael while hunting several rogue Lycans on a dark and stormy night. She is drawn to him, for what reason we do not know yet. She and several other vampires follow the Lycans into a subway station where a 15 minute gun battle with no dialog begins. Michael is knocked down and we really don’t bother much with him for the time being. The battle is loud and long and rages all over the subway. While tracking one Lycan, Selene hears what we assume is a den of Lycans hiding out beneath the streets. This is important news because there apparently hasn’t been a den of such size in years.
She is very right and we soon discover that this large den of Lycans is being led by none other than Lucian (Sheen) himself. He is quite alive and in firm control. Selene returns to the vampire coven, a large dark mansion in the middle of nowhere. She reports this news to Kraven (Brolly), the coven leader, who simply does not believe her. Kraven, we immediately understand, is Selene’s rival and we know they will butt heads several times in this film. Meanwhile, Selene also divines that Michael was being stalked by the Lycans, for what purpose she does not know, but intends to find out. She goes to Michael’s home and he discovers her there. Before anything can be explained, the Lycans attack and while trying to escape, Michael is bitten by Lucian. Selene helps Michael to get away, but not before Lucian stabs her with a huge knife and she loses a lot of blood. Long story short, Selene passes out while driving and the car careens into a lake. Michael manages to save her life using CPR and when Selene wakes, Michael is out cold with a concussion. Man oh man, everyone is falling asleep here.
The story continues with Selene awakening Viktor (Nighy), a vampire elder, to get some advice. Viktor is very upset. There are three elders, Viktor, Markus, and Amelia. The tradition is that one elder is awake while two sleep. The mansion is preparing to wake Markus and send Amelia to sleep, so you can see why Viktor is upset. It is not his turn to wake. Well, nothing can be done about it now. You see, Viktor made Selene, so she regards him as a father, but is stunned when Viktor tells her she must be punished for reviving him too soon and breaking the cycle.
It is at this point the plot thickens and begins to get a little messy. I don’t want to give away too much more, but basically what is going on is that Kraven has conspired with Lucian on a way to end the war, but is has to be done in secret, less Viktor finds out. In return, Lucian plans to create a race of hybrid vampire-wolves. This is why the Lycans need Michael. His family (The Covinus clan) possesses a rare blood type that can successfully meld both vampire and werewolf cells, which are otherwise deadly to one another. Selene finds herself falling in love with Michael, much to the dislike of Kraven, who has a thing for her. Michael is captured by the Lycans and Selene is put in a position where the only way she can be redeemed for waking Viktor is to kill Michael. All the while, Michael is being kept from transforming by the Lycans so they can harvest his blood safely. Everything leads up to the “epic” battle. Vampires vs. Lycans, Lucian vs. Kraven (apparently they have a falling out), Selene vs. her feelings and Viktor vs. Michael (who successfully transmutes the blood to become the first Wolf-pire).
I don’t really have a whole lot of problems with the movie. Just some minor tid-bits that I would have liked to see fixed. For one, due to the circumstances that the film sets up (i.e. Viktor isn’t the nice guy he comes off as) you are almost forced to pick a side. Again, I go back the “Freddy vs. Jason” or even any of the old monster vs. monster films. In those films, you could root for who you wanted to win. In “Underworld,” the script dictates who is bad and who is good. Now, this isn’t really a bad thing...plenty of films always have a good guy and a bad guy, but when your tag line is “which side will you choose....” You see my point?
Another problem....where are the Lycans? The battle between the vampires and lycans looks like a bunch of humans firing machine guns at each other, with one or two CGI wolves jumping around in the foreground. And the film is so dark, you can’t really see the vampires to tell them from the Lycans in human form. Even Lucian, the Lycan leader, transforms only once, and that is in flashback. What’s up with that? Here we have the supposed bad ass of all Lycanthropes, and he’s human the whole film.
Almost all of “Underworld” takes place at night. Again, this is ok, but I would have liked to see something of how the two groups exist during the daytime. Do the Lycans have jobs? Do the vampires all sleep in coffins. The movie chooses to ignore these questions. As it sits, the vampires party every night and surf the internet in their rooms.
Then we have the fight sequences. Not bad at all, but Viktor vs. Michael is nowhere near as intense as Keanu Reeves vs. Hugo Weaving. Viktor’s punches look absolutely awful, and Michael just goes Wolverine on everyone. Another problem with the fight...Michael is slashing away, but he see no real evidence of either guy doing any real damage. Viktor’s death is so unreal it is laughable to look at. A similar death was done in “Thirteen Ghosts” and done far better and led to some good jokes later in the film. The other fights are handled well enough, they are standard issue gun battles with high-tech ammo, specifically designed to kill vamps and lycans.
The relatively unknown cast performs well enough. Beckinsale comes off as cool and collected, and shaken when she needs to be. It sucks enough when a human lives 80 years and finds out everything they believed is a lie. Imagine finding it out after 800 years. Speedman plays the confused guy caught in the middle of everything. He does a good job. I especially liked his reaction to Selene telling him to jump from about 40 stories up. (Speedman: “Are you fucking kidding me?”) All the other characters flesh out their roles fairly well. Shane Brolly plays Kraven as a dickhead with too much power, and Lucian (played with a ton of intensity by Sheen) gets to the the tragic hero when all is said and done. Nighly looks good as Viktor, with a certain degree of prestige, but doesn’t get it done in the action sequences. Though it is cool the way he kills a few of the Lycans.
The music is standard fare for a film like this. Pumping bass and drums add to the loud explosions and gun shots, nothing like the Matrix, but not at all bad, I just wish there was more of it. Certain action sequences are very quiet, with no music at all .
Other little things that annoyed me a bit: 1) Really no gore at all in the film. 2) Almost every scene began with some kind of door opening. It gets mind numbing if you pay too much attention. 3) Why does Selene speed all over the place in her car, even when driving casually. At five miles per hour in a small alley, she slams on her brakes and makes the car skid...why? 4) Finally, why does everyone in the film land the same way. They jump from a large height, they land on one knee. What is the point of constantly shoving that shot down our throats? Ok, now I’m just being silly.
Wiseman’s direction is raw, but he has talent. He clearly can stage a battle, now he just need to discipline himself a bit more. What he has here is a good movie that could have been great or even had the potential to be epic if done correctly. Instead, we have a standard good guy-bad guy duel with vampires and werewolves at the core. I enjoyed “Underworld”, not enough to see it again, but I’ll add it to my DVD collection, no doubt. The movie wants to combine the elements of Matrix and Anne Rice. Well, it’s not as smart as the Matrix, and not as sexy as Anne Rice (thought it does give a nod to the bright blue vampire eyes), but it holds well enough on it’s own against some of the crap nowadays. “Darkwolf” anyone? Don’t even get me started on that piece of shit! Kane Hodder deserves so much better for all those years of scares. Again, I digress.
Will there be a sequel? Considering that there is still the issue of Markus rising, the fate of Kraven largely ignored and Michael and Selene leaving the screen together, I'd say the odds are in favor of one.
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